Communication and Conflict Resolution
“How can we be fighting about this AGAIN?”
“The constant fighting is exhausting, and we never resolve anything. Why can’t we get past our issues?”
Conflict is a healthy part of any relationship. Learn to fight well so your love and understanding of each other will grow.
“How do I get through to you?”
“When I ask for what I need, we end up fighting. And the more he doesn’t spend time with me, the more I don’t feel like being affectionate with him. We both feel alone and neglected.”
How needs are communicated makes all the difference.
Subtle changes in how needs are communicated can determine whether they will more likely be received and heard.
Feeling unseen and unappreciated.
Although you work hard and try to help around the house and with the kids, you feel like she only notices what you are doing wrong. Her bar is so high that you’ll never be good enough.
He has no idea what you do all day. The mental load is enormous between school events, appointments for the kids, planning birthday parties and vacations, etc.
You think, “I am always on and I can never rest.”
You miss the friendship you once had.
The love you once had for each other has disappeared, and now, you barely like each other anymore.
Feeling constantly judged makes you walk around on eggshells. You never measure up, and you’ve given up trying.
The two of you are miles apart, and you don’t seem to know each other at all.
Couples who do not work on their relationships will most likely grow apart. Friendship must be tended to. And friendship is foundational to a long-lasting, loving relationship. Therapy will help you gain the skills you need to foster a strong friendship.
Small, day-to-day moments matter.
“I feel rejected when he doesn’t respond to me, even if it’s just something small and insignificant. I know that he hears me.”
Change the energy of your relationship from negative to positive simply by saying two or three small “thank yous” to each other daily. After a week or more, your home will likely shift from an atmosphere of tension and division to a culture of appreciation and grace.
Small things can change the space between you from cold and distant to warm and loving, and you’ll feel like a team again.
The little hurts we receive from each other can accumulate and become a mountain of resentment. The more you learn to “check-in” with each other when offenses happen, the less power they have.
You are not alone.
Most couples do not know how to communicate effectively. And whether we use words or not, we are constantly communicating.
We love our partners how we want to be loved, not how they want to be loved. One of you comes across as strong and critical, while the other feels attacked and gets defensive or shuts down. Sound familiar?
In therapy, we will focus on your daily interactions and make small changes that will significantly impact your relationship. These changes will involve learning how to communicate and truly listen to what your partner has to say.
My role is to help you identify issues that create arguments and hard feelings. I work for both of you on behalf of the relationship, so I don’t take sides. You can learn to resolve conflicts and maintain a healthy and loving relationship through therapy.
Reclaim the fun and carefree relationship you once had.
Don’t wait another day to learn how to transform your relationship!
Contact me for more information about how I can help reignite the love that brought you together.